One thing I think is useful to conceptualize when thinking about the severity of depression is figuring out what counts as a ‘task’ to your brain
for example, healthy people outlining the tasks they need to do that day might be something like
- class - work - homework
if a healthy person is having a low energy day, maybe it becomes
- make breakfast - go to class - class - go to work - work - come home from work - work on an essay - do 2 readings
a depressed person, on a high energy day will probably see that same day as
- make breakfast - eat breakfast - take meds - shower - get dressed - walk to bus - take bus … etc
a depressed person, on a low energy day will see that same day as
- wake up - get out of bed - walk to bathroom - use bathroom - stand back up - walk to kitchen - open fridge - take out juice - set on counter - go to cabinet - reach up arm - take down glass - unscrew lid of juice carton - pour juice - drink the juice - finish the juice …etc
the sort of chronic exhaustion manifests in how each ‘task’ takes a certain amount of energy and when you have depression, what begins to take that amount of energy- and thus, cognitively count as a ‘task’- are smaller and smaller subdivisions of what other people consider tasks.
And the more ‘tasks’ you do, the less energy you have, and the smaller the subdivisions must be to take equivalent amounts of energy. And the longer that “to do” list of tasks is, the more exhausting and overwhelming and hopeless it feels, which creates a feedback loop of dysfunction.
So say our depressed person on a low energy day gets all the way to finishing their glass of juice. They’ve actually gotten through a lot of tasks! They’ve tried really hard.
But to a healthy person, even on a low energy day, that probably looks like not having done anything- not having gotten through any tasks. And when our depressed person is surrounded by healthy people, they will likely internalize that they haven’t done anything, and further that they can’t complete any tasks no matter how hard they try. And that feeds worthlessness and suicidal ideation
That, I think, is why it’s so important to encourage your depressed and chronically low-energy friends when they accomplish tasks, even if they’re operating at a level of subdivision that you don’t recognize. It is an accomplishment to get water and actually drink it for some folks. It is an accomplishment to get to class or to work.
And acknowledging how hard someone is trying and how much energy they’re putting towards accomplishing those tasks can make a huge difference in whether they feel worthless and hopeless or whether they feel like it’s worth it to keep doing what they can.
Thank you for giving me Gajevy and make the perfect ending for a series that gave me so much ♥
Lucy making her dream of publishing her book a reality (and winning an award because she’s that good), staying together with Natsu in a never ending adventure and how everyone got a happy ending and are enjoying their lives… And most of all, Gajevy!! My dear OTP are so happy together and on their way to parenthood lol.
I just can’t get over this whole sequence…
Levy’s small tear while speaking to Gajeel about the baby, Gajeel’s expression at it ♥ And then if anyone doubted Lucy, Mashima made Wendy hear it too!!! lol Yes, Wendy, your big bro and Levy are fucking.
Then as if that wasn’t enough, they didn’t waste any more time and left the party in a hurry…
To make more babies? To be alone and celebrate? It’s up to us artists and writers to fill the blanks. Either way, the twins are coming, Levy’s pregnancy is confirmed and I can’t be any more happy about this ;________; ♥
Our confession of love was gorgeous (and although sad at the moment bc it was a dramatic scene), there was no need to revisit their feelings that way so the only next step that Mashima could show us atm was this. Levy’s big news. We know this future isn’t far off now…!!
Thank you, Mashima. I’m really happy, everything was worth it and I can’t wait for the new anime season to air next year and look at all the precious moments you gave us in movement and hearing their talented voice actors again.
As for me, I have a bunch of ideas for them still and my love for Gajevy just got bigger. Look forward to more of them from me ofc!!! Until next time.
